Canadian Police Chase

Now this is FUNNY, and me being Canadian just got whole lot better!

Sorry! Another funny thing...

On behalf of Canadians everywhere, I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry.

I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron, but it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all, it's not like you actually elected him.

I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own. It would be like if, well, say you have 10 times the television audience we did and you flood our market with great shows, cheaper than we could produce. I know you would never do that.

I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours. As a way of our apology, please accept all of our Canadian NHL teams, which one by one are going out of business and moving to your fine country.

I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you want to have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different: Everyone knew he had weapons.

I'm sorry we burnt down your White-House during the war of 1812. I see you've rebuilt it! It's very nice.

I'm sorry for Alan Thicke, Shania Twain, Celine Dion, Lover Boy, the song from Sheriff that ends with the high pitched end note, your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer, but we feel your pain.

And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way, which is really a thinly veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this, because, we've seen what you do to countries with whom you get upset with. For 22 Minutes, I'm Anthony St.Joseph, I'm Canadian. And I'm sorry.

Canadian Jokes

You may be living in Canada if:

•Your local Dairy Queen (ice cream shop) is closed from September through May
•Someone in a Home Depot offers you assistance... and they don't work there
•You've worn shorts and a parka at the same time
•You've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number
•“Vacation” means going anywhere south of Detroit for the weekend
•You measure distance in hours
•You know several people who have hit a deer more than once
•You have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again
•You can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching
•You install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked
•You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them
•You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit
•The speed limit on the highway is 80 km and you're going 90 and everybody is passing you
•Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow
•You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction
•You have more miles on your snow blower than your car
•You find 2 degrees "a little" chilly
•If you actually understand these Canadian jokes, you definitely live in Canada! :)